Walk like an Egyptian, Live like a Dead Pharaoh

Copies of the Book of the Dead were placed in the tombs of deceased royalty. Written by various scribes over a period of years, the book is made up of spells and magic formulas as well as some general tips about making a good impression in the Hereafter; Chapter 125, for example, suggests that when the dead ruler appears before the gods of judgment, he should make it a point to list all the evil things he has NOT done.
-The Mummy, DVD Bonus Material

OK, so I'm a bit of a nerd; I like to explore all of my DVD's special features. If I paid for it, I might as well get as much use out of what it has to offer. Noticeably, I just finished watching the first part of The Mummy trilogy. And granted, the special affects aren't spectacular but I'm more interested in the cheesy, romantic-adventure plot anyway. Plus, I've always been fascinated by the history Egypt. There's not a place on earth like it.

I opened this entry with a fact about an Egyptian artifact known as the Book of the Dead. I read this fact while navigating through The Mummy's special features. The part that struck me was the last line: When a dead ruler appears before the gods of judgment, he should make it a point to list all the evil things he has NOT done. Key word being "not" obviously. If you believe in a higher being, such as God, you've probably stopped a few times to think about what it would be like to stand in front of Him as your lifetime of sins, mistakes, trangressions, demons--whatever you find yourself calling them--are read back to you. It's a scary thought for believers or non-believers for that matter. I think it was so horrendous in fact, that the Egyptians wouldn't dare wish it upon their dignified, powerful, honorable pharaohs. Thus, the scribes wrote that their "deceased royalty" should make it a point, instead, to list the evil acts they have not committed throughout their lives.

How incredible that would be to go back through our lives and reveal to others the times we chose to do right despite the sweet temptation of wrong.

The statement from Chapter 125 in the Book of the Dead seems similar to the human nature of wanting to change the subject. "Well yeah, I've done this, tried that, had this habit for many years, lied to these people, cheated on so-and-so, but let's check out all the times I was an "angel," when it would have been easier had I not cared one bit. I could have done drugs with them but I didn't. I could have got into bed with that person but I didn't." Or maybe it's like denial? "Actually, I couldn't really help myself. That wasn't my fault. I had a bad childhood so it was my parents fault I turned out like that. I had to lie to fit in. The way my spouse treated me turned me to the booze and drugs." Excuses to cover up irresponsibility. We all would much rather have our mistakes locked away in the past or erased for eternity. I believe they're forgiven but not forgotten as much as we'd like them to be at times. If a person is sincerely sorry for what's occurred, he or she tries their best to steer clear of making the same mistake. They learn from it and move on.

I wonder what made the lists of the great Egyptian pharaohs when presenting to their gods what evil things they had not done. "When I stubbed my toe on my buddy's sarchophagus at his funeral, I could have taken the deity Horus or Osiris's name in vain but I did not." "I could have commanded my obese servants to race to the top of the great pyramids for my personal entertainment but I did not." "The time my high priest, Apepi, brought me a tablet created to enforce the laws of my land, I saw two hieroglyphic birdies and a snail mixed up on law XVII; I rearranged them correctly. I could have left the meaning as follows: 'It is encouraged for Egyptians to urinate on Ramesses tomb.' I mean, c'mon, you know how much I hated that guy; I could have left it be but I didn't." "I could have dressed up in Cleopatra's headdress, wig and gold jewelry when I was inaugurated as pharaoh but I didn't."

I'm curious as to what other "tips" are dispersed throughout the Book of the Dead for Egypt's deceased rulers. Maybe a way to return to the earth and pull practical jokes on enemy nations or the ability to transform into a Sphinx?

Too bad I won't die a pharaoh.